Want
by Daresa
Summary: First times are never easy. They're nerve-wrecking, and painful. But after a few kisses and murmured assurances, they're just another way of saying "I love you." A damn good way of saying it too. Smut, PruAus, Slash. First-time sex. Human names are used.


A tense silence hung in the air, as the sound of a spoon clanging against the inside of a cup cracked into the awkwardness. His fingers ached to be flying across his piano again, that's familiar. Safe. He didn't have anything to worry about when playing. All he had to do was let himself be pulled into the music and get lost in the sound. This... This is different. This was something he was not ready for. Something that he resisted against.

"Hey, Specs, are you okay?"

Looking up from his still full coffee cup, he glanced at the albino man sitting on the couch next to him, "I'm perfectly fine. Thank you for asking, Gilbert."

Snorting and resuming with playing with his fingers, Gilbert breathed in and out slowly, "Yeah. Okay."

Roderich sat his now cold coffee cup and saucer on the small table next to his side of the couch, and pushed his glasses up. He couldn't do this. He wanted to, he did. But he couldn't. Him and Gilbert had once hated each other. They had once fought over the same girl, and fought each other daily. When did all of that change? When did he grow use to the obnoxious arrogant man enough to fall in love with him? He did not know. And that scared him.

Not like he'd admit that, though.

"Y'know... We don't have to, Roddy. If you don't want to it's fine."

He looked over to his side again, startled from suddenly being broken away from his thoughts, "I want to." '_I just can't'_, he finished in his mind. Inhaling and exhaling he scooted closer to Gilbert, resting his head on the man's broad shoulder. "I want to."

Gilbert smiled reassuringly, and turned the Austrian's face toward his own, leaning forwards and kissing him softly on the lips, "Okay."

Standing up, Gilbert grabbed Roderich's hand and pulled him up, leading him up the stairs and towards the bedroom.

Roderich didn't want to think about what would happen after they finished climbing the stairs. After they got to his room. After they were all alone, doors locked, and there was no turning back. Honestly, he didn't want to _know _either.

Lifting one foot after the other, and allowing himself to be pulled through Gilbert's house, they slowing finished the walk up the stairs. It had ended too quickly. Much too quickly.

He clutched the albino's hand tighter when they advanced towards the red-eyed mans bed room, and felt his heart pace increase. He never felt like this before. When he was with Hungary and they had sex for the first time, it wasn't like this. He had swept her away and into the bed room with no fears what-so-ever, and just got to it. With Gilbert, it's all different. It could have been the fact that he knew he was going to be the one ending up on bottom. It could have been a sign that this wasn't supposed to happen. But the latter seemed too unlikely. He wanted this. He wanted it a lot.

Gilbert paused when his hand touched the room's doorknob, he looked over his shoulder a little to the left, to look at his boyfriend of two months. To anybody else that might seem like quite a bit. But to them, if the other was not ready for something, they would wait even longer. They would wait until they were holding onto their last thread of patience. And keep holding, even when it would finally snap. Two months was nothing. Especially for this next step.

Swallowing the lump growing in his throat the Prussian squeezed Roderich's hand and waited for the okay. When the other slowly looked up from the floor a light pink tinting his cheeks and nodded, he twisted the knob pushing the door open and continued leading Roderich towards the bed.

Gaining some courage, Roderich closed the door after he entered and locked it, letting go of Gilbert's hand to walk towards the bed and sit on it by himself. _You can do this_, he told himself repeatedly, closing his eyes, J_ust calm down and promise to keep your breathing even._

Feeling two hands push him back onto the bed, he broke his promise to himself. His heart beat in his chest almost painfully, and he could hear the blood rushing past his ears. Opening his eyes, he found himself looking into two blood-red eyes, and opened his mouth to say something. After having his vocal chords fail him five times in a row, he finally managed to force out his words, "Kiss me."

"That's just what I was thinking, Specs."

And then Prussian lips molded themselves with his.

The kiss was gentle at first, nervous, unsure. Roderich kissed back timidly, wrapping his arms around Gilbert's neck to pull the albino closer. He didn't want this. He needed it. Deepening the kiss, he tangled his long pianist fingers in his boyfriends messy, white-silver hair, his eyes fluttering closed. He darted his tongue out, running it along Gilbert's bottom lip, sucking it into his mouth and nibbling on it gently.

The Prussian granted him access without any fuss, and he continued to run his tongue everywhere he could. He explored the other man's mouth, corner to corner. His wet, pale pink tongue licked behind pointy canines, and darted from crevice to crevice happily, before feeling another tongue brush against his own.

Soon, a fight for dominance was in play; tongues brushing and teeth nibbling. Gilbert broke the kiss to bend down and lick along Roderich's sensitive neck, leaving small kisses in his wake. Sliding his way down to the base of the pianist's neck, where the neck and shoulder joined, he bit down sharply, sucking and licking at the spot consistently.

Hissing at the twinge of pain, Roderich's hands tugged at the hair in between his long fingers, "Gilbert..."

Smiling, the Prussian backed off of his boyfriends neck, admiring the fairly large hickey he just made, before looking into his eyes, "Mm?"

He was feeling conflicted again. He needed and wanted this. He had admitted that much to himself already. He wanted to finally make love with his boyfriend. He knew his face was flustered and damp with sweat. His lips were most likely puffy and red from all of the kissing, and his hair was hideous. He was pale, though not quite as pale as the Prussian, and the beauty mark on his chin had always bothered him. He was thin, small for his age, and bland. He had dark brown hair, and purple eyes. He was unpredictable and his body was not as built as he would have liked. His muscles were there, faintly rippling with every move underneath his skin. But compared to how the Prussian's looked, they were nothing. He knew that they were about the same strength, their old habit of fighting had not completely faded away, and they had fought only a few weeks ago. He didn't think you could tell, by just looking at and comparing the two. And a lot of people couldn't.

Pushing those thoughts to the back of his mind he closed his eyes, trying to control his breathing again, and decided on what he was going to do. Breathing in sharply, he pushed Gilbert off of him and down onto the empty side of the bed, swinging his legs over the "awesome" man's hips, saddling his waist. Lifting a somewhat pale hand, he boldly brought it up to his face licking two fingers gingerly, before sucking them into his warm mouth. Inwardly smiling at the gasp he heard escape the shocked man, he continued to lap and suck at his fingers.

He twirled his tongue around them, and pushed them as far back into his throat as he could before pulling them out and licking along their sides slowly. Lifting his hips and pulling down his pants and boxers as best as he could with one hand, he brushed his saliva slicked fingers over his virgin hole. Prodding himself curiously, he slowly forced one of his fingers inside of himself, wincing and hissing once more at the strange feeling.

Cracking one of his violet eyes open he stared into Gilbert's heavy lidded ones, his mouth opening wide as he finished pushing his finger in up to the knuckle. Pushing down onto his own finger as he adjusted he fingered himself in and out for awhile, eyes falling closed once more, small moans and gasps leaving his mouth.

Adding his other saliva-covered finger, he slowed down, pain and pleasure nipping at his insides. His face twisted into one of pure lust, and he bucked against his fingers abruptly, moaning wantonly.  
>"God, Roderich."<p>

Having momentarily forgotten Gilbert was there, he blushed and looked down into Gilbert's eyes just as his finger brushed against a sensitive cluster of nerves, "A-ah! Fuuucccckkk!"

Gilbert grabbed his face in his hands, and pulled his face down to his kissing the Austrian's swollen lips in a needy manner, "I want you, Roddy. God, I want you so bad."

Pulling out his fingers, he scooted down farther on his boyfriends legs, settling down far enough on his thighs to undo the other man's belt and unzip his pants. Lifting his hips, he tugged at the pants, hinting at Gilbert to lift his hips as well. When he finally lifted his hips, the pants were slide down and he looped his fingers in the all black boxers waistline, pulling them down the same way he did Gilbert's pants.

Moaning softly at the sight of the erect cock, he stroked it's length with one of his hands gently, kneading it softly in his palm. Getting on his knees and off of the albino's lap and brought his mouth down to the hot hard-on, licking across the tip happily. Gilbert gasped as the air chilled his erection wherever the saliva started drying on it. Smiling at his boyfriends reaction, he ran his tongue back and forth along the member, soon becoming bored with the simple licks and kisses. He brought it in between his lips, hollowing his cheeks and sucking.

Bobbing his head up and down, he brought it deeper in his throat with every slurp he made, before pulling back up to twirl his tongue around the slit. Lapping up the pre-cum beading at the top of the erect member, he twisted his face up at the bitter taste, but continued his ministrations anyways. Gilbert bucked his hips up, trying to push his cock further into his warm, inviting mouth, and the aristocrat coughed choking on it unexpectedly. Holding down the albino's hips he continued to suck and lick for awhile longer, after regaining his breath and snapping at his boyfriend to hold still.

When he felt that the cock was good and covered, he pulled off with a soft 'pop', and licked his lips looking straight into Gilbert's eyes. They were clouded with lust, and a feeling he rarely saw in the other's eyes. Something that shocked him enough that his jaw went slack and his arms failed him, causing him to almost fall straight onto Gilbert's throbbing erection.

Gilbert, growing impatient, grabbed his arms pulling him back on top of him, and pressed a bruising kiss to the the brunette's lips, positioning himself at the slightly gaping arsehole, "Tell me if it hurts."

It hurt like a bitch. To keep from crying out, Roderich bit his tongue and squeezed his eyes closed. It felt like he was slowly being ripped open. The pain cleared his current thoughts completely, and he sat there, rigid and in pain, when the Prussian continued to slowly push in.

"I'm half-way in. Are you okay?" Gilbert's voice sounded strained, like he was forcing himself to hold back.

Nodding his head, the Austrian re-opened his eyes and gritted his teeth, as the rest of a long hard member was pushed into him. When he could feel the tips of Prussia's light pubic hair brushing against his butt, he stay there, both of them scared of moving.

After a while, the pain started to fade and he experimentally lifted his hips, letting them fall back down onto the long shaft, "Ngh..."

"Fuck. You're so tight." Groaning quietly, floating in pleasure, he pulled out a little before pushing back in.

Roderich pushed back onto Gilbert eagerly, moans getting louder and louder as the pain continued to fade away. Soon, a fast pace was set, and the sound of wanton moans and slapping skin echoed in the otherwise silent room. Roderich felt like he was in heaven. This was almost better than playing his piano, or drinking hot coffee curled up with a good book.

"DAMMIT! AH! FUCK!" White light exploded in his eyes, as he felt Gilbert slam into the cluster of nerves he had found earlier, while preparing himself, "Shit! That feels good!"

Groaning, Gilbert aimed for the spot over and over, hitting it for the most part. Bathing in the moans and gasps of his partner, he tightened a hand onto Roderich's narrow hips, helping the aristocrat up and down, as he grabbed the Austrian's painfully hard erection with the other. He ran the hand up and down, pumping at a consistent, fast pace.

Roderich, in return, pulled at the white-silver hair that covered the Prussian's head with one hand, whimpered and moaned, and rested his other hand on Gilbert's chest as he started riding the albino himself.

Pushing himself up and down quickly, he felt a climbing in his stomach, a strange fluttery feeling, like a swarm of butterflies attacking his insides. And then with a loud cry, fireworks exploded in front of his eyes and strings of white sperm coated their chests, as he tightened around Gilbert.

Not being able to hold back, Gilbert slammed in one last time, before releasing deep inside of Roderich, tilting his head back into the pillow and groaning loudly.

Roderich kept bouncing up and down slowly while they rode their orgasms out, before collapsing onto the Prussian's chest exhausted. He felt slender, gentle fingers tug through his hair, and sighed contently, eyes closed.

"God, I love you, Roddy."

Humming in reply, he kissed Gilbert's chest softly, not having the energy to climb off of the albino's spent cock, "Love you too."

* * *

><p><strong><em>A.N.- OKAY! I hope that didn't suck complete butt! This was my first PruAus smut, or PruAus anything really, so I hope you can excuse the mistakes, repeats, and OOCness. This took like, I don't know... forever? Yeah, about forever. Pretty sure. and I even rushed the ending. Crappy smut is crappy. So, that's it really. I'd love to know what I can improve on, so please feel free to tell me some things you think would help with my future stories!~<em>**

**Reviews are appreciated.**


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